Commonwealth Games: Glasgow 2014
Experiences before, during and after the best experience of my life
Glasgow 2014... Literally a pinnacle to what can only be described as a rollercoaster of 8 years!
In 2005 I made a commitment to athletics that meant I decided not to live at University and not go to my first chosen university to do sports marketing in Preston (UCLAN) so I could stay in Edinburgh and train with my then be coach John & Anne Scott. This initially was to focus on Delhi, initially to go for high jump but then in 2007 I had an unbelievable year in Triple Jump which included Scottish Indoor and Outdoor Junior Records and the first woman in Scotland to ever jump 13m, also included an incredible trip to Hengelo for the European Junior Championships - Did not do great but was an amazing learning experience. At this point I did not know it was going to be such a long trip to make it to my next major championship. So Here I stand 7 years later after its all over... SO excited for the future. In the past month I have made some awesome new friends, had the best overall experience of my life and have experienced major highs and unfortunately major lows.
Holding Camp
We arrived at the holding camp in Kilmarnock on July 22nd to start to completely focus and prepare for the next 10 days and go to the opening ceremony. Menzies Hotel Irvine were incredible and so friendly! The kitchen staff even got to the point that they were cooking some separate foods for people. Anyway Day 1 at the camp we had to head into the village for a little look around, I completed a weights session early on in the afternoon supervised by Andy White (S & C coach for SIS) and accompanied by Kimberley Murray (My best friend, life coach and Sports Physiologist extraordinaire). Then a small group of us headed into the village on the last bus from the hotel to have a look round village and get out accreditation. This now seems like a lifetime ago but it was such a nice experience being in the village that it gave such a buzz to get in there! It was pretty busy on Scotland street with everyone just chilling out as we walked round and I was so excited about all the free irn bru (RESULT). It was a 45 minute journey to and from the village from our holiday camp so ended up being a bit of a trek! On the Wednesday it was early to rise, eat breakfast and then head to the track in Kilmarnock run by Ayreshire Athletics for a plyometric and sprint session before a press conference. The press conference was lots of fun and I just want to clarify neither myself or James said the word cuddle... well I certainly didn't.. so maybe it was James... It was a quick turn around before heading back into the village before the closing ceremony in the evening. In the village we had a few hours to just chill out, grab some food and then get ourselves beautified for the ceremony in our lovely dresses. Since the athletics team did not have enough rooms for everyone there was 7 girls in one room getting ready - was fairy amusing and about 14 of us sharing a bathroom. We all had to get ready and head down for Photos.
ALL I can say is WOW: I AM SO GLAD I did not miss it! WE had to stand outside the stadium for about 2 and a half hours and my fit bit said we had taken 24,000 steps in one day...but by gosh it was worth it! The reception and the atmosphere you felt walking into the stadium was INCREDIBLE. I left there feeling SO excited about getting into the village and competing 1 week later. Fortunately I had a rest day the next day so I had the longest lie in for me ever: 9.30am. I had a wonder into Irvine Town Centre.. that was very interesting and not good for my addiction to shopping but never mind.
The Village:
Heading into the village on the 28th August was just amazing. It was a build up of excitement, everyone was buzzing and it was just such an awesome team atmosphere. One of the best things about the village was the free Irn Bru... LITERALLY Love Irn Bru!! So happiest week of my life! I had 1 and a half days before my competition to prepare which was all rest, So I had filled my days with a plan of timings so I didn't go insane. Physio, lunch, nap, dinner, film, rest. The problem with the village is that it is too easy to be distracted by what everyone else is doing, eating, training and I kept in sharp focus through coaches advice to remember to trust "our" process.
The day of the Qualifying
So after an early night I was awake bright as a button at 4am! We had to leave reasonably early for the village but did not need to be up at 4. After trying to stay asleep for as long as possible, Sarah Warnock was up early for her qualifying too so I ended up getting up and having a pre comp morning chat. I felt far more relaxed than what I thought I would. I felt confident and I knew I had it in me. My warm up went okay, I didn't feel amazing so I was feeling a bit nervous once we got out into the competition field. Once I started competed still didn't feel "amazing" but I built into the competition. Hitting first time at 1.80m got me going and I felt a massive rush of relief with 1.80. I had struggled all outdoor season with hitting heights. Then 1.85m came round I just remember saying do the exact same, I almost blocked the crowd out and just went... BOOM 1.85m first time. On reflection I really wish it had gone through 1.88m for confirmation of qualifying but that is life. Once that was over it all felt a little surreal, it took me 45 minutes to walk from field of play out through the mixed zone due to meeting all my scottish fans it was great fun. Then once out I was desperately trying to get hold of my mum to go and get some lunch with my family. EVENTUALLY we found each other!
After this I headed back to the village for a sleep, I had a massive comedown in the afternoon. From this point things seemed a bit different...
In between
Once I had qualified headed back to village to chill for a bit and then met James to head for dinner it all became a bit real. I was at the commonwealth games, I had made the final, I had achieved a massive goal, I was so excited, I wanted this so bad for so long, I had to make sure everything was perfect for the next 48 hours... this is where I went wrong. On reflection what I needed to do was change nothing, be happy, be relaxed, enjoy the experience and have a bit of fun. I secluded myself from the group and forced myself to be on my own. I wanted to focus and make sure I was ready... but why I never did this for the qualifying? Maybe if I had been a little more relaxed things might of turned out a little different.
The day of the final
The day was here.. I woke up, everything I had been dreaming of, working towards, turning up to the track day in day out, putting in the reps in the gym, on the track, round the curve all down to 1 day, 1 moment. I was definitely more on edge, and little things on the day annoyed me although I was trying to not let them. The day went so quickly and I headed off to the track at 3pm.
Arriving at warm up, I felt awesome, I felt ready and my body just felt ready. Throughout warm up I just had to hold myself back my body was on fire, I felt fast, bouncy and reactive. We walked out into the arena, the atmosphere was UNBELIEVABLE. My warm up was the best warm up I have EVER completed in my life, all lifetime best warm ups (which on reflection probably was not the best idea).
After a quick toilet trip we had to line up to be introduced to the crowds... when my name was announced the crowd literally erupted and all I remember was from toes up towards head my legs just going to jelly, my heartbeat getting faster and thinking NISBET this is your moment COME ON!
1.78m opening height straight over but rhythm was a little rocky.,.. then from there it seemed like everything went double speed. I can't even properly describe 1.82m, it still doesn't feel real 2 months on. I feel numb when I think about the moment, I feel empty and dejected. How could it all be over so quickly? How could everything I had spent everyday working towards, working my work around it, changing my lifestyle for it, sacrificing every social occasion and dreaming off be all over in a matter of moments. As I lay there on the mat with my head in my hands, I cannot describe the over rush of emotions. Hate, fear, disappointment, hurt, confusion, desperation, like a knife had literally gone through me. I tried to tell myself hold it together Jayne you can hold it together, but the emotions were just too much. 8 years of struggle, overcoming some extreme battles in lifestyle, illness, relationships and work. Down to getting over 1 height in the commonwealth games final. I was distraught. I had to leave the area, and I headed down to the warm up area to a quiet area and I think I cried for about 1.5 hours. I didn't know what to do, what had happened, how could this happen, why? I had to get myself together as James was competing in his qualifying later on in the evening. I got my head together and headed back round to see my coaches Graham Ravenscroft and David Parker. We were gutted together, but James could pull it back. As I sat and watched James I was willing for him so much to prove everyone wrong - those that know James recent history with injury. All I can say is the guy that knocked him out in the last round was 1 of 2 from the same country that did not throw the next night...
On completion of James comp we sat in warm up area for a bit for some reflection before heading back to the bus... By this point I could barely put any pressure on my left foot. I had been having ankle issues throughout the season but this seemed different. Once we arrived back at the village I removed my trainer to only find a massively swollen foot, the top of my foot looked like someone had snapped my bones so they were sticking up, this topped off my night. I headed to bed... but could barely sleep. The next morning I still felt distraught so I headed into Glasgow at 8am to see my parents with a swollen foot. I just needed to get out and get some space. When I got back I was referred for an xray but no broken bone so it was looking like a stress fracture or stress response but would need to wait for a referral for an MRI on the Tuesday once I was back in Edinburgh, So I got dressed up in flat shoes and headed out to Glasgow with everyone for a night out - it had been 10 months!
The Closing Ceremony
The final day was weird, knowing that you had to go back to normality was surreal, I loved my time in the village, I had reconnected friendships, made new friends and it was like a little athletics family who I am still missing!!!! We all had to be ready fairly early to head to the closing ceremony but most were spending the day sleeping before heading out. The closing ceremony was incredible! The atmosphere again to experience the crowd, to see Kylie LIVE and literally be at the front of the stage, to be part of the whole experience was just incredible. Once the ceremony was finished we all headed back on buses to Scotland House where our "Scottish Party" awaited us. First up the fire alarms go off because the girls have too much deodorants and perfume going off in the toilets which was hilarious. The best thing was that they literally played scottish music all night which was IMMENSE!!!!
The Aftermath
After leaving the village I got diagnosed with a stress response which ended my season. The aftermath of disappointment has left more than a bitter taste in my mouth, After 8 years of highs and lows on reflection to come 10th at the Commonwealth Games should of been a high but for me in the end it has been a bit of a low. I could not of turned over anymore leaves to ensure I was ready to perform and I had given it everything. I am capable of jumping 1.90 but where is that going to get me in terms of further higher level competition. Mentally and physically I had come to a bit of a end of a road with high jump, I love athletics, but being part of it was not my main love anymore. I had struggled to comprehend why I was competing at most of my competitions throughout the year. What did I get out of competing? What makes Jayne happy? What makes me tick? It has been a bit of a mental battle the past 2 months over where my future lies in athletics, but currently I feel I need to have a bit of a "career break" per se for a few months to recover emotionally and physically from the past 8 years of build up and relentlessness of my lifestyle, as I was never a "funded" athlete. From the help of my parents and grandad and in the end one of the financial support a sponsor, I was able to maximise with everything I could without having the luxury of being a 9-5 athlete. My days consisted of 5am starts to 9pm finishes. I am going to spend the next 3 months working out what it is I want from athletics, from life and from business so I can maximise it all. I am so excited about the future now and need to thank my commonwealth journey and experience for helping me along the way.
Jayne x
